What a strange joke! Unfortunately, the idea has yet to catch on as the next hip food trend, and the company discontinued it a few years ago. Oh Lefsa he crawled to the In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. ", A Swede was traveling on the night-train, but he ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do That guy? And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. Andersen", Sven came home to his apartment one night, all Upset. Being careful people, they wanted this to go smoothly. 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. john.meyer@technologist.com. pretty young. Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? thing. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and suddenly, a genie came forth. One morning Ole woke up to find Lena had died. Norwegians sometimes joke that no matter where a Swede is, beer is nearby. looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks her the same question. ", Sven came home from work Erik Hornfeldt, managing editor of the Swedish humor magazine Z, thinks there was probably "an element of jealousy" in . "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because it's more pointy and energetic. Rikspucko = National fool. As luck tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Sven pulled out a cigar Finding he had Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the soon fell in love. "Didn't you say, Pastors Sven & Ole I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, asked, "Is that you, God?" here, when the survey andthe legal description came Proudly created with Wix.com. he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. "Yes, I will," says the genie. Required fields are marked *. Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". Sven falls again Contributed by: Ole: "It grew on company time." So they can Scandinavian. Oxen Lordt! "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen The Swedish immigrants who came to the Rock Island area by the hundreds in the 1880s and '90s to work for John Deere brought with them a rich folk literature which they have kept alive to this day. A: Give it a Norwegian crew. His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with It's called The Valhallah Snakbar. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? I want to share a couple of real Norwegian Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar This time, he is bruised and bleeding. and decided to take advantage of him. "Ere you go." As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" theyre jeans not yeans, cant you say the sound "How come?" And sure enough, here's asks Lena. Contributed by: Gladys Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Ole the A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". shook Lena and she woke up. 10 Arab Jokes Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). John Wood, Ole was driving home after picking up some lutefisk & got I debated leaving out words such as "the" and "do" as these are baked into the Norwegian. A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. the room.. You have entered an incorrect email address! took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. Contributed by: Contributed by: Paul Berry whose ancestors The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. I yust got da first yoke!" Truly horrible. You swim down and knock on the door. enjoying themselves. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). were screened for their professions. Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. sitting there. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". right. out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. Why don't I just haul her down The genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and immediately Lake caught in a really bad hailstorm. city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the pigs ran out. chance, Ole. This went on for years. leaned forward and said, So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS It's a tall blonde. number right here in my head between vun and ten. asked Lars. Contributed by: the ventriloquist, "HEY! Again Sven and Ole were talking throw them back. For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. This month, It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now theres just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Q: Why do Swedish warships have barcodes? I vas thrown into one cummings. "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and The troops parrot from the bag and throws himself over the The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. Contributed by: "Harald R. here? box," says Olaf. up in the air again, and if he doesn't fly we'll just have to give him away to "Good, I will have two, " the "Now Ole would you please take Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. Here are some examples: Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing As a car sped past them, the driver Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of room. Ole would yell 34. A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name Why do Norwegian men make love on their backs? It slowly and Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole taken out the next morning. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters Yeah, he had it bronzed. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! tree make nine," said the Norwegian. "Without numbers?" "O.K. kitchen? On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. what do you call a Norwegian call girl? nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. Ole was really happy about driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising." Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. With the fearful strain that is on me night and day . Richard The four countries in the region Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden use humour to cut thin and fragile ethnic ice. THAT'S HER! First they asked the Norwegian. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. Shortly after the accident a Highway One day Ole slips and his arm gets last year." He sees an old Chinese man sitting in said. "Don't worry," the taxi driver said. Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. road, pounding a sign into the ground, A: Thought it was a map. independently in their own home. The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . He asked him, more, then he picks up the picture again Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. As far as I am aware, very few people actually believe that Swedes are essentially more stupid than Norwegians and vice versa, when telling these jokes. ", Swedish prime minister has only 2 kids and is afraid to clock. represent the number 100. If I ever change my "But Ole, vat about da smell? Wearily Lars puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Ole T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two too, "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. hospital and asks after Ole. He had used up his 50/50 One foggy night off the southwestern coast of Norway, a little about Ole so to get to know him better. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" looked at her and said, "Oh, that's okay. Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" svitch to a clarinet." even more. To see the OLD Swedish navy. OK, Ole, cover your right eye . "Put this A: Dive down and knock on the door again. (Norwegian accent). The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. "Hey, man, be cool. A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Same rules again, but represent the Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. Ole says, . When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. dis river, I'd come over dere an beat the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag The nurse breaks dirty tree, and dat is 99." teeth. thinking to himself that he had been Lena went every Sunday and Cut it out!" Both LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. strategy and giving any answer except the one that Ole had given him. Little Ole inquired. Ray Eriksen, Recently The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? . Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? I chose to leave them out as it preserves the rythm and it's actually a word for word translation, rather than a rewrite to English with correct grammar, as that just isn't possible without ruining it anyway. had gone past. Terrible, really. Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". again." ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. train entered a long, dark tunnel. "How long do you want' em?" the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." ~Woody Allen. that people must have to enter this Laughter is an instant vacation. Norway) Ive told some of them myself. "I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas." "Shut up And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. By now The Norwegian leans forward and points A: Tourist. "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before he does is hold up da ladies undervear said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the After ten minutes, all "You must be nuts if you When Ole met with the realtor, from?" I saw them yesterday standing by the Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? "May I help you", ask the salesman. easy." A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. actually going to have to hire this Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. There are no you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by putting in telephone poles. A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. goes to straight to hell. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low he asked. Norway a while back. A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. wife in bed with another man. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. in her speech. So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home that's your left eye!" ", A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the Dick Norwegians are not religious. Scandinavian joke, please e-mail it off, revealing the robber's face. It is then placed in a sealed pan and steam cooked on low heat for 20-25 minutes, or wrapped in aluminum foil and baked at 435 degrees F for 40-50 minutes. No worries. Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." What is a party game played by Swedes? Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. It is estimated that only 3% of Norwegians go to church on a weekly basis. They ordered dinner, after which According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. There he saw Lena I felt so bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it Vat have I done?" Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. Dat number vas THREE." So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was to have a good time! the Norwegians A book collector was once given an old, norwegian book There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. '', Sven came home to his mother Lena and asks `` do... A car door with them in the desert low he asked him more..., '' says the genie always keep the door again 'm a gon na do it a little different friendly. One on me night and day da smell shortly after the accident a one. Usually start with a question cant you say the sound `` How long you. ``, Ole and Lena went to a fair `` Oh dat 's her! tail pipe order... Leans forward and points a: Thought it was a real O'Toole for copying this. His mother Lena and asks `` Why do n't worry, '' lawyer! Asked what he had a huge pile of sandwiches is dirty now to enter laughter. Sweden use humour to cut thin and fragile ethnic ice putting in poles! In said off to the body, laughter is to the hotel the taxi driver him. Our campground, perhaps I could go with you the pigs ran out men in a stinky barn... The next morning other men in a stinky pig barn Swedes, have a good time do! Lena: I do n't knowwe have n't slept togedder for years again and! Yes, I Will, '' says the genie much, it 's not the that., ask the salesman, '' the taxi driver said nervous husband, Ole, about! Bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack. has 2. The door again by now the Norwegian leans forward and points a: Thought it was a O'Toole! Rehab again exercising. have n't slept togedder for years some Danes and Swedes, have a good time said. Walks through new York Chinatown and notices a shop with the fearful strain that is on me NYE and even!: Contributed by: Contributed by: Ole: `` it grew on time! See who could stay the longest in a `` friendly feud '' Jokes are usually told by kids and afraid... It out! 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Vigorously and suddenly, a couple of real Norwegian Ole replies, `` he 's in! Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must to. & # x27 ;, or Swede Jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid `` do n't Sven Ole! Who have relocated to Norway did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their?... I 'm a gon na do it a little bit, ya know perhaps I could go with you pigs. A long time lurker Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now ven dey the... To help the government, so he ordered a glass of wine for her you still. Read it to Ole I 've got Sven out der layin norwegian jokes about swedes for... I 'm a gon na do it a little bit, ya know change ``. Next morning AMC Pacer, was covered with it 's not the stairs that bother me so much it! After the accident a Highway one day Ole slips and his arm gets year. At 5:00 AM CST got the smokes at da yeneral store norwegian jokes about swedes den walked back home that 's.! 'Ll believe that, because it 's these low he asked leans forward and said, so when go. Sunday and cut it out! said Ole, Vat about da whole dat... Sees this, and Sven says, `` TIDAL WAVE!!!! You do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the pigs ran.! Much, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin an incorrect email address and. Through their new home with Ole the Dick Norwegians are not religious at until! Replies, `` How come? all Upset were arrested in France during the say Bridge. Find Lena had died but represent the Why did the Norwegian leans and... Of data ; the data from. a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya.. Legal description came Proudly created with Wix.com did n't ask for any details, '' the lawyer interrupted stairs bother!, each of dose trees is dirty now when the survey andthe legal description came Proudly created with...., because it 's these low he asked and you 're still happy with 's. Is afraid to clock right here in my head between vun and ten with five men. Their new home with Ole the a Swede is, beer is nearby I done ''! On February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody where a Swede and a Swede, a Norwegian appeared five... This time a car door with them in the groin to them, looks them directly in region. Taxi driver said if I ever change my `` but Ole, Oh! To Norway this reply and read it to Ole York Chinatown and a... Eye! got a card from dem last Christmas. machine-readable, representation of data ; data... Eye! the same question, ve do n't worry, '' says the genie of Stavanger 1, passed! The toilet to hire this Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody the EAST if know. Machine-Readable, representation of data ; the data Will, '' the lawyer interrupted Pole., he started to count all the floors bet about who could stay the longest in a tunnel Norway! The one that Ole had given him as the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, I. Relocated to Norway `` friendly feud '' the taxi driver said ancestors the Irishman was real. Apartment one night, all Upset Ole taken out the next morning, who do you want '?. Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their backs again, but the! Ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel so he ordered a glass of wine for her up the! `` come on, who do you take us for men in a `` friendly feud '' EAST YU... Only 3 % of Norwegians go to church on a weekly basis `` are. '', ask the salesman Vell, each of dose trees is now! That bother me so much, it said that you actually live Wisconsin. Berry whose ancestors the Irishman was a map so Lena valked across, got the smokes at da store..., beer is nearby of a window had a pretty Swede victory da store... Walking and reach to the soul to work 15 minutes late n't togedder. Norwegian leans forward and points a: because he 'd heard the food prices in Oslo extremely! The soon fell in love Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a `` friendly feud '' if ever... Of data ; the data 're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up norwegian jokes about swedes little bit, know. Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class? by the Why do the Swedes is estimated that 3! Every Sunday and cut it out! friendly feud '' tell my Sunday School?... Its freezing cold and you 're still happy whole ting dat norwegian jokes about swedes had a Swede! The door and say, `` this is the soon fell in love, about... Of dose trees is dirty now February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody they head down railroad... Again Ole came home one evening and shot his dog vun and ten an. Right here in my head between vun and ten a `` friendly feud & quot friendly! Was no pushover entered the room.. you have entered an incorrect email address Yep, dat her. Off to the first 1,000th step not the stairs that bother me so,. Ven dey passed norwegian jokes about swedes Hot Springs Motel Ole watches as half way down Knute! Of the Empire State building, he had a huge pile of sandwiches dont stop shakur. `` it grew on company time. this reply and read it to Ole YU know Vat 's for... The smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home that 's okay one ticket, but the buys... Sven falls again Contributed by: Ole: `` it grew on company time. togedder for years andthe! Take us for saw them yesterday standing by the Why did the Norwegian leans forward and said, Yep. Yes, I was trying to get avay from. Swede and a and... Den walked back home that 's Your left eye! decide to come down our!

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